This is about a boy I am in love with but fail to full fill my promises to him.
I met Old Boy not too long ago earlier this year when I decided to start volunteering at a nearby shelter. He was the mutt that caught my attention but did not bother to greet me at the time when I visited his cage. He is big (well, because I'm a Hobbit) and I didn't have the confident to take him out at first. He was the most beautiful fluffy grey dog I have ever met in my entire life. Don't know what mix breed is he. All I know is that, he is the perfect dog!
Old Boy on the other hand, thinks I'm just some fly who happens to pass by and noted his existent. For most, I don't think Old Boy even care that I was staring at him at the time.
Then, the next week.. The A**hole said, why not we take this out? That's how it all started. Every week we visited. After I'm done helping around.. I would play with him outside with The A**hole.. I started to snap a lot of photos together with him. I never actually thought I would become so attached to him. So does The A**hole. I started recording every single moment we are with him. He became so important to me, until I made him my priority and obligations. Also my dream.
He is always excited to see us. Always hoping and expecting. Every week he tells us he misses us or question us, where have you been all this time?
I even took plenty of picture with him.
Also took our pictures together like a family photo..
The joy he had in the arms of his favourite guy..
All the times we spend together when I was not at my best..
It's like Old Boy knows how down I was at one point. He was always there waiting and hoping. I love this boy.
The day I lost him..
The day we lost him, I had a really really bad feeling the whole day. Told The A**hole about it. I even got locked out of my house that day. The vibes I get was so negative, I feel like crying the whole time.
I didn't know it until weekend finally arrives. I was out with my bestie and I actually asked The A**hole to go and visit Old Boy in my place. What I didn't know was that, he has already gone pass to the rainbow bridge. The killed him. The shelter said he contracted a deadly viral virus, The Parvo Virus. I was really angry they didn't call me especially the nurse! The A**hole called me, breaking the news to me while I was happily walking around the mall with my bestie. I cried right there.. Immediately after he said he was not joking.
The regret I carry with me until now..
I can imagine the pain he's going through to the procedure and not seeing us.. I can imagine how angry he was at me for not being there.. for not listening to him the week before when he refuse to go back into his quarantined cage. I blame myself for not acting fast. Not realizing fast.. and hurting him this way. I promised him he would be home safely with me, and I failed him just like that.
People would say, it's not my fault or our fault.. but I know, it is. I know I could have done better. I was really devastated... still really am. I can tell you, I can't talk about Old Boy.. Tell you stories about how perfect this dog is with a straight face. Tears would fall, and I would even choked on while talking.. but I want people to know about Old Boy. I want people to know that no dogs deserve that. That I wished, he had not ended up at the shelter at all. So, this is my post about my favourite dog. The dog I love from the bottom of my heart. The dog that made me realize that I would never ever adopt any dogs from the pet shop or any other place than a shelter.
I even start to believe that the chances of a dog surviving by himself/herself outside is higher than in the shelter. Of course in the shelter, they would have place to run or play outside when someone brings them. Get proper medications and supplements. They would be fed properly and a small place to stay. For most, they would be caged all day. Sometimes even the whole week or month. There's no freedom.. and then get sick because of overcrowding.. and died just like that. Whereas outside, they have the choice and chances of surviving by themselves by learning and observing their environment. Find/hunt food for themselves. Be in a pack and protect each other.
I hope and pray that no dogs will end up like Old Boy. I wish I could have done better and acted more faster. He is one of the biggest regret I have in my life.
The dreams I had after his passing..
I had dreams about him.. once was, he pose as a Golden Retriever. I know it's him. He was looking at me.. and then I called him.. but instead of coming to me, he jump on to the bed and lay there with The A**hole. It was how I confirmed he was mad at me for not being there when he needed me.
Another time was, he was running happily in a field and I was looking at him from the distance. I didn't call him this time but he did look at me and playfully run around.
Old Boy will always be apart of me.. Always.
RIP OLD BOY
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